Being disconnected from the heart’s energy, is one of the hardest things I have ever had to overcome. Feeling numb, disconnected, stressed, anxious, unsure of how you feel about this and feeling nothing at all. It’s as though one just walks through life, unaffected and zombie-like. Not really feeling or taking anything in, ones passion’s create no more zest. It’s looking alive, but being dead inside.
I struggled with this for numerous years after betrayal and trauma left my heart closed. I didn’t want to feel, I didn’t want to go there. It was easier to live life at that time being shut off. But then, at some point, I needed to feel again because not feeling got worst than feeling the pain. I became so uncomfortable with the suffering I was repressing. I thought I was safe this way. When really, I was still getting hurt by things, but I was numb, what a paradox. What I was really blocking out was joy, love, happiness, peace! I was numb to all that good! Isn’t that crazy. My heart was blocked, but what it blocked off was all of life’s good stuff.
I did everything I possibly could, you name it; affirmations, ayahuasca, vision quests, meditation, yoga, shamanism, counselling, coaching, herbs, crystals, Ayurvedic practices, exercises, flower essences, breath work, honopono etc.
Everything worked, if even just a little. I won’t tell you there is ONE magic cure that will blast your heart open and you will feel happy and wonderful again. No, it takes intention and dedication. It takes courage to face the pain, the emotions that made you shut down, and the trauma that hurt you. It takes authentic self reflection, self forgiveness, and self acceptance to say you did your best and that is okay, you may not be perfect but that is okay, what happened to you may not be ok, but you are ok. And maybe you aren’t even okay right now, but you will be okay at some point in the future. Your life may not be perfect, but after all of that, you are still ENOUGH! No matter what you are enough. And you are still okay. You made it, you are a surviver and you are a badass spiritual warrior.
There is no magic cure to anything (I believe). It is an accumulation of many things.
How to start the healing process?
Your intention is important. Starting with intention is a great start. It is stating what you want to happen, with your power behind it. It is creating a force field into the universe. When you make a strong commitment you bend energy to your will.
Then listening to the universe, paying attention to signs. People you keep hearing about, or feel drawn to, places, things you feel a pull, a draw too. Explore it! You never know where it may lead.
Opening the heart after trauma, a break up, betrayal etc can be tricky because the body remembers the pain and wants to protect itself. It may open for a short time and then shut back down again. This happened to me, what feels like a hundred times. What I can say for this is that it takes patience. It will happen, maybe not right away but trust that. Maybe you are learning something, maybe there is more to uncover and maybe you just aren’t ready yet. And, that is okay. Everything takes its own time. The apple falls when it is ripe. Your heart will open in due time. You will trust in yourself again in due time. Be patient, I know it’s not easy but there are greater things at work than what we are aware of. The first step to healing is saying you are ready.
I know there is lots of tips and how to’s on the internet to open your heart and just so you are not disappointed here is some 😛
- wear green, eat green
- honopono – practice self forgiveness and forgiveness of others
- wear rose essential oil, take rose herbal medicine, flower essence
- heart opening yoga exercises, like camel, wheel, arm exercises
- Kundalini yoga : https://www.3ho.org/files/documents/transformationvol2_kriya_to_open_the_heart_center.pdf
- meditation – especially focusing on metta (loving, kindness for all beings)
- drumming over the heart
- rose quartz
My book ‘Rise in Love’ is available on amazon, it has exercises and goes more into depth with love, self love and relationships and healing work. If you are interested you can take a look, it is also sold in Vancouver at Yoga West (kits). I also offer coaching/ healing/energy work services if you are interested in working with me and feel ready but need support with your healing journey.