Opening the Heart

Being disconnected from the heart’s energy, is one of the hardest things I have ever had to overcome. Feeling numb, disconnected, stressed, anxious, unsure of how you feel about this and feeling nothing at all. It’s as though one just walks through life, unaffected and zombie-like. Not really feeling or taking anything in, ones passion’s create no more zest. It’s looking alive, but being dead inside.

I struggled with this for numerous years after betrayal and trauma left my heart closed. I didn’t want to feel, I didn’t want to go there. It was easier to live life at that time being shut off. But then, at some point, I needed to feel again because not feeling got worst than feeling the pain. I became so uncomfortable with the suffering I was repressing. I thought I was safe this way. When really, I was still getting hurt by things, but I was numb, what a paradox. What I was really blocking out was joy, love, happiness, peace! I was numb to all that good! Isn’t that crazy. My heart was blocked, but what it blocked off was all of life’s good stuff.

I did everything I possibly could, you name it; affirmations, ayahuasca, vision quests, meditation, yoga, shamanism, counselling, coaching, herbs, crystals, Ayurvedic practices, exercises, flower essences, breath work, honopono etc.

Everything worked, if even just a little. I won’t tell you there is ONE magic cure that will blast your heart open and you will feel happy and wonderful again. No, it takes intention and dedication. It takes courage to face the pain, the emotions that made you shut down, and the trauma that hurt you. It takes authentic self reflection, self forgiveness, and self acceptance to say you did your best and that is okay, you may not be perfect but that is okay, what happened to you may not be ok, but you are ok. And maybe you aren’t even okay right now, but you will be okay at some point in the future. Your life may not be perfect, but after all of that, you are still ENOUGH! No matter what you are enough. And you are still okay. You made it, you are a surviver and you are a badass spiritual warrior.

There is no magic cure to anything (I believe). It is an accumulation of many things.

How to start the healing process?

Your intention is important. Starting with intention is a great start. It is stating what you want to happen, with your power behind it. It is creating a force field into the universe. When you make a strong commitment you bend energy to your will.

Then listening to the universe, paying attention to signs. People you keep hearing about, or feel drawn to, places, things you feel a pull, a draw too. Explore it! You never know where it may lead.

Opening the heart after trauma, a break up, betrayal etc can be tricky because the body remembers the pain and wants to protect itself. It may open for a short time and then shut back down again. This happened to me, what feels like a hundred times. What I can say for this is that it takes patience. It will happen, maybe not right away but trust that. Maybe you are learning something, maybe there is more to uncover and maybe you just aren’t ready yet. And, that is okay. Everything takes its own time. The apple falls when it is ripe. Your heart will open in due time. You will trust in yourself again in due time. Be patient, I know it’s not easy but there are greater things at work than what we are aware of. The first step to healing is saying you are ready.

I know there is lots of tips and how to’s on the internet to open your heart and just so you are not disappointed here is some 😛

My book ‘Rise in Love’ is available on amazon, it has exercises and goes more into depth with love, self love and relationships and healing work. If you are interested you can take a look, it is also sold in Vancouver at Yoga West (kits). I also offer coaching/ healing/energy work services if you are interested in working with me and feel ready but need support with your healing journey.



The Aquarian Age

Have you been feeling more tired, stressed, anxious and disconnected in the last couple years than ever before? Have you been depressed or sad for no apparent reason? Have you noticed that time is speeding up?

On December 21st, 2012 many expected a major apocalypse with the ending of the Mayan calendar. However, it was not the end of the ages as we know it, it was a beginning of a new era. We left the age of Pisces to the age of AQUARIUS! The Piscean age was dominated by water (Pisces is a water sign). Whoever ruled water, ruled the world. Navy fleets were a major importance for winning wars and the countries that had control over water essentially controlled the world ( British, Romans). Additionally, Jesus the prophet of the Piscean age was a ‘fisher of men’, he also walked on water and turned water into wine. The age of Pisces was an age were teachers were authoritarian, information was protected, God was outside ourselves and needed to be obeyed.

Whereas, now since Dec 21 we have entered the new age of Aquarius which is dominated by ether. Whoever controls the skies will have domination. Which ever nation has control over airwaves, technology networks, internet, satellites will be the most powerful force. In this present age information is widespread, teachers are equal and everyone has their own inner guidance to follow, duality is lessening, time is speeding up and God is recognized as being inside of us a supreme creative force we can access and are.

The shift in ages has resulted in a change of frequency. Whatever does not serve us must be eliminated so that we can rise up and be our best selves. Yet, transformation can be painful if we do not have the necessary tools. Prescription drugs, alcohol, smoking etc are more widespread than ever before and it is due to the need to ‘numb out’, to stop feeling because we are all becoming increasingly sensitive. These substances do not fix the problem, they only cover it and therefore if your feeling out of sorts you have to go to the essence to heal. Our nervous system isn’t equipped to deal with the stresses of this age ( all of the technology, information overload, lifestyle) and thats why we must strengthen our systems. Yoga is excellent for this because it includes breath work and the physical aspect helps to break up energetic blockages. Kundalini yoga specifically focuses on the nervous system to make it stronger and to increase awareness.

The times are changing, with it our bodies and minds as well. It is up to us whether we want to fall to our demise, or rise to our potential.

Know you are never alone and the universe is here to guide and support you on your journey to ascension. We have to open ourselves to this knowledge and it starts by re-establishing that connection to the infinite, then we must do the work to change our body and mind.

Five Sutras for the Aquarian Age – Yogi Bhajan

1) Recognize that the other person is you
2) There is a way through every block
3) When the time is on you, start, and the pressure will be off
4) Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times
5) Vibrate the cosmos, the cosmos shall clear the path


Depression and Anxiety


Ignorance is the cause of mental and physical disease (not knowing our true nature). To heal we need to get to the knowledge of who we are. Between the two extremes of knowing self and not knowing, our daily life falls in-between.
Depression is severe despondency and feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. Typically a lack of energy, uneasiness, and lack of interest in life.
Disease doesn’t just happen out of the blue, illnesses are developed against daily sins against nature. We usually know when we are going against our selves and this is when the buildup to illness occurs. Socrates: illness do not come upon us out of the blue. They are developed from small daily sins, against nature. When enough sins have accumulated, illness will suddenly appear.
Depression and anxiety has become an epidemic on the planet; in the west and spreading to the east. We have been victims to changes that are happening on our planet. However, as an individual we can make changes can will positively affect our lives.

– Family structure has been broken. It was a natural structure and now we are trying to replace it with communities because there is something missing.
– Life away from nature and devoid of connection with it. We can change this by Having some plants at home, to reconnect with nature.All our elements in our body come from nature and so when we are disconnected from it we are disconnected from ourselves. Need 5 elements in our environment.

– Things have been sped up and our mind and body are overwhelmed by the changes. However, we have to adapt to it. Can use relaxation, meditation techniques and yoga to help.

Undercurrents of anxiety often propel addictive behavior around alcohol, sex, drugs, food, shopping, or doing anything in extremes.
Feel release with these habits but the next desire pushes to do it again
Feelings come from lack of self worth, security and wholeness, and as the yogis teach we are ignorant of our true nature in these circumstances.
Anxiety fatigue can make you irritable, impatient, quick to anger and more self judgmental which leads to anger and depression. ( kapha and pitta imbalance )
Two wolves live in us, one of hate anger etc and one that is good and has love and joy, which one wins? The one we feed.
Feeding anxiety becomes a habit and when it becomes a habit it becomes a default reaction. We need some space in-between to non reaction to break the habit. Habits becomes tendencies and then form the personality.
If we don’t do anything about it, time doesn’t heal it because it is already apart of our system. Therefore, step out of your normal circumstance to create lasting changes ( like a retreat, long vacation, move to another place)

Is prolonged sadness which becomes a low state of functional activity. Most people feel episodes of depression. It matters how you react to it and if you can come out of it.
We can come out of depression in the early stages by using yogic techniques. However, with severe depression medical treatment may be necessary and yogic techniques can assist in the process. Do not stop medication once you are feeling a little better, it takes time to adjust the chemical imbalances in the brain.
When in depression we have loss of energy, problems in sleep, irritability, anxiety, poor concentration, difficulty making decisions, loss of interest in pleasure and activities, weight gain and loss.

Some yogic techniques to come out of depression are to chant divine names, karma yoga ( volunteer work), pranayama (breath work), eating a whole food diet including fresh vegetables and supplements and meditation ( helps to clear the mind).