Opening the Heart

Being disconnected from the heart’s energy, is one of the hardest things I have ever had to overcome. Feeling numb, disconnected, stressed, anxious, unsure of how you feel about this and feeling nothing at all. It’s as though one just walks through life, unaffected and zombie-like. Not really feeling or taking anything in, ones passion’s create no more zest. It’s looking alive, but being dead inside.

I struggled with this for numerous years after betrayal and trauma left my heart closed. I didn’t want to feel, I didn’t want to go there. It was easier to live life at that time being shut off. But then, at some point, I needed to feel again because not feeling got worst than feeling the pain. I became so uncomfortable with the suffering I was repressing. I thought I was safe this way. When really, I was still getting hurt by things, but I was numb, what a paradox. What I was really blocking out was joy, love, happiness, peace! I was numb to all that good! Isn’t that crazy. My heart was blocked, but what it blocked off was all of life’s good stuff.

I did everything I possibly could, you name it; affirmations, ayahuasca, vision quests, meditation, yoga, shamanism, counselling, coaching, herbs, crystals, Ayurvedic practices, exercises, flower essences, breath work, honopono etc.

Everything worked, if even just a little. I won’t tell you there is ONE magic cure that will blast your heart open and you will feel happy and wonderful again. No, it takes intention and dedication. It takes courage to face the pain, the emotions that made you shut down, and the trauma that hurt you. It takes authentic self reflection, self forgiveness, and self acceptance to say you did your best and that is okay, you may not be perfect but that is okay, what happened to you may not be ok, but you are ok. And maybe you aren’t even okay right now, but you will be okay at some point in the future. Your life may not be perfect, but after all of that, you are still ENOUGH! No matter what you are enough. And you are still okay. You made it, you are a surviver and you are a badass spiritual warrior.

There is no magic cure to anything (I believe). It is an accumulation of many things.

How to start the healing process?

Your intention is important. Starting with intention is a great start. It is stating what you want to happen, with your power behind it. It is creating a force field into the universe. When you make a strong commitment you bend energy to your will.

Then listening to the universe, paying attention to signs. People you keep hearing about, or feel drawn to, places, things you feel a pull, a draw too. Explore it! You never know where it may lead.

Opening the heart after trauma, a break up, betrayal etc can be tricky because the body remembers the pain and wants to protect itself. It may open for a short time and then shut back down again. This happened to me, what feels like a hundred times. What I can say for this is that it takes patience. It will happen, maybe not right away but trust that. Maybe you are learning something, maybe there is more to uncover and maybe you just aren’t ready yet. And, that is okay. Everything takes its own time. The apple falls when it is ripe. Your heart will open in due time. You will trust in yourself again in due time. Be patient, I know it’s not easy but there are greater things at work than what we are aware of. The first step to healing is saying you are ready.

I know there is lots of tips and how to’s on the internet to open your heart and just so you are not disappointed here is some 😛

My book ‘Rise in Love’ is available on amazon, it has exercises and goes more into depth with love, self love and relationships and healing work. If you are interested you can take a look, it is also sold in Vancouver at Yoga West (kits). I also offer coaching/ healing/energy work services if you are interested in working with me and feel ready but need support with your healing journey.

LOVE

Thalita

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Burning Man… 10 Burning Self Lessons

It amazes me the creativity of the human spirit and what can be made when there are no limitations. I witnessed this at Burning Man and the lessons I learned in the Nevada desert were deeper than I initially recognized.
I expected it to be a party, a celebration of people coming together to express their individuality and to have experiences that were fit for another planet. Of course there was that, but that was just the surface; And just like a calm ocean, there is so much below the surface.

Burning Man is not only a social experiment, it is a way to burn away all of the social constructs we have meshed into our brains. It is a way to burn away that which no longer serves us and it has the potential to burn us awake if we allow it to.

I witnessed emotions of sadness, loneliness, euphoria, love, expression,passion, depression, fear and freedom. The reason there was such an extreme was because this gathering has been created to create a place where all is possible and you can do basically anything you want, really… When there is no one telling you how to act, to dress, to feel, think and be ( only your conditioned mental patterns, if you allow them to influence you); then you get a touch of that place within you that knows what freedom is.. and wow does it feel amazing.

Here are some of the things I learned from Burning it all away…

1) Creativity
When you don’t have structure your able to flow:
– No one has cellphones and many don’t have watches so you do what you feel when you feel like it. When nothing is structured in your day and your able to pick and choose what you do, magic happens. You flow with the present moment and go wherever that takes you. Perhaps you end up at a workshop, a dance off, a party or in the deep playa. Yet you are exactly where you need to be at that moment.

2) Synchronicity…
– When you follow the flow, magic happens. When you do what you want and follow your heart the universe offers it to you. Its a common knowledge that if you ask for it at burning man it will generally show up either instantly or days later.

3) Joy…
There is so many amazing things happening at every moment, so you don’t spend time doing anything you don’t want too…
– There are hundreds of activities happening at one time and so if you don’t like something you move, do something else, join a new group of people etc. If your not feeling it, it is socially acceptable to move on and people understand that at Burning Man. Your able to tap into what it feels like TO REALLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING. Which is funny because many of us have been just accepting our circumstances for such a long time that we forgot what it feels like to actually want to be doing something versus just doing it.

4) Connection..
– There are thousands of beautiful people at burning man and you will have amazing connections with so many of them. Some you will have life changing conversations with and never see again. Some you will connect with after when returning to the default world. It is a reflection of the impermanence of relationships and how our connections come and go, yet it happens at a much faster pace in the dusty clay of the desert. As well, you realize you can connect with anyone, and anyone and everyone can be a best friend, there is no such thing as strangers!

5) Responsibility
– A principle of B-man is that you cannot leave a trace, what you come with you must leave with and I realized this teaches accountability and responsibility. So often in society we blame others, we blame the government and we never take responsibility for what is going on. Like the bystander effect we stand frozen, but when our own survival depends on ourselves we become EMPOWERED. No one owns our choices, we do and we can choose to step up or we can choose to bow down. Learned helplessness is rampant in society and I think its time we take the lesson of no trace and clean up our own mess without expecting someone else too.

6) Support
– As we are responsible for everything, we become empowered and with that stand to help others. If someone fell or if there was fight, immediately people would run over to stop it because they didn’t expect anyone else too. Additionally, people were so full of love and everyone was there to support one another whether they be friends, strangers or new lovers.

There is an illusion that we are Separate and alone on this planet. However, we are all supporting one another and everyone wants each other to succeed. Even if their egos wont admit it.

7) Individuality
– People would dress as they pleased, even if that was being naked. Some how people got more beautiful as days passed. I realized that as the days went on and people got in touch with that inner child it didn’t matter if they hadn’t showered for a weak, had 2 day old body paint on or ripped clothes.. their eyes shined with their own spirit. Something had been awakened.

8) Impermanence:
– The only permanence is change and what the artists create for months or even years to offer at burning man is burned during the gathering. When a wooden structure that is as big as a 100 ft building or even bigger burns it makes an impression. It really wakes you up to the fact that what was once strong will inevitably wither away when its time. Even Black Rock City ( 77,000 people) is constructed and then a week later is gone…
I cried when I saw the structure called ’embrace’ burn. I witnessed and released my past relationships and my attachment to love. Recognizing that all relationships come and go and what was once consumed with the passion of fire will become ash at some point in time. It was a sensitive but a crucial moment for me.
When the main structure- The man burned I witnessed myself burning. Seeing that we too are on fire and are constantly burning, using energy and consuming till our deaths. We are beautiful examples of Impermanence and yet we ignore it because we are afraid to think of our end. But when we can to accept it we can rise above it and make our lives more meaningful and worthwhile.

9) Insight..
– In the dust, intense dry heat all that you have been avoiding becomes obvious. In normal day to day life we are busy with our jobs and providing for ourselves. Stress consumes us, however, at burning man you have everything and there is nothing to worry about, it is a place of enjoyment, amusement and so all your patterns become obvious. If you find you are restless, anxious, anti social, lonely etc it is something to reflect on and think about. Additionally, relationships which were not on stable ground will be shaken and the truth will be exposed.

10) Listen..
– Your body and your intuition know more than you think. Our best teacher is ourselves. Yet, we always get in the way and say its not true. But when we listen we start riding a flow of authenticity. If your body is tired, rest… If your spirit is telling you to move on… move. Its that simple.

Burningman was chaotic, beautiful and peaceful. It was a representation of all that exists in life. It was rajas, tamas and awe inspiringly sattvic.

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