Great teachers and great leaders all have something in common they know how to communicate. The way to progress in society, relationships and personal life all happens through effective communication.Whether it be how we communicate with our souls to how we communicate with others. Verbal and non verbal communication is important for our success, to be understood and to move forward with our goals and objectives. If we can’t communicate, we can’t express.
It is for this reason I am writing this post; to share methods of communication that have helped me through conflicts and in day to day life.
To effectively communicate you have to listen, not just hear. Often we are distracted by what we will say in response that we do not even take into account what the other person is trying to express. We are reacting before we can even know the situation. Thereby, stop, listen. Be present! Give the person you are with your full attention. There is nothing more distracting than a person who is checking their phone, or is thinking about something else. Put everything aside and give the person who is speaking your undivided attention; it will save you time and it will make them feel heard.
Feel the feelings the other person is trying to convey but do not take them on. Take their perspective and acknowledge that their feelings are real and justified. Just because you don’t agree, doesn’t mean they are wrong. It is the other persons experience and it has as much value as yours. Be open minded and see where it leads you. Take a walk in their shoes and feel how it feels to be them.
3) Be personal and Be open:
To communicate effectively it has to be authentic and it is through sharing, being open and vulnerable that is comes across that you care. Even if you are a private person, use your discretion, but be open. People need to feel you are ‘real’ and are coming from your heart not just trying to be a certain image or present a persona. Show you care and be aware.
4) Leave Out All the Circle Language:
Don’t dance around with what you are trying to say. Be courageous. Say it! If you can’t be truthful than you are living a lie. If you want to create a life you want than you gotta ask for it. Drop the ums.. the likes… the avoiding language. Be direct and be clear. If you want to have someone understand what you are saying, be specific. Be kind and caring in your language but don’t dance around the truth. Be honest! I cannot stress this enough. Tell the other person how you feel from your heart. Lying, or disguising your feelings will not heal the root of the issue. Being unclear or dishonest will only cause more issues down the road.
5) Keep the Communication flowing:
When you don’t want to talk is when you need to the most. We all have had situations in relationships and in business life of wanting to avoid and hide from another person because of a disagreement or just not feeling understood by another person. As much as we don’t want to talk to the other person in these situations it is when we need to talk the most. If it is left too long it can lead to resentment.
The way to get through the communication blocks is to talk it out. Don’t block yourself off and get defensive, stay conscious and aware and keep yourself open to allow communication to be effective. Be honest, be clear, listen and then explain how you feel. By opening the energy flow then one is able to dive deeper in communication and create a stronger relationship. When both parties know how the other feels than there is no mystery, it is transparent and it allows trust to be built.